Faith's 4 Year Day Program Anniversary

This past week marked a huge milestone in Faith's life - she has been at her day program for 4 years! I well remember how excited I felt when I found out that in order to qualify for the program, all she needed was to be 18 and have a high school diploma. 

I know that is not the case in some states. And in many cases, parents choose to have their special needs child in school until they are 21 and then after that they can attend a day program. For Faith though, since I homeschooled her, we were both ready for her to move on to her adult life when she turned 18! 

Faith at the Science Center with one of her day program staff 

After a few meetings with her case manager and day program staff, she was ready for her first day. But was I? She was excited when I dropped her off, but as I drove away from the building, I began to cry. Would she really be okay here? Would staff know what to do if she looked uncomfortable or seemed like she was in pain? Faith is verbal, but she cannot always verbalize what she is feeling physically or emotionally. 

All day I kept checking the phone for texts. The only text that came through was a question about giving water through her g-tube. Later in the afternoon, I texted staff asking how things were going. The room manager responded saying that she was “picking on staff” and trying out a wheelchair rocker. 

Starting out, Faith only attended the day program 2 days a week. She eventually worked her way up to more, and before I knew it, she was attending a Sock Hop, going swimming at the aquatic center, taking trips to the science center, and visiting horses at a nearby ranch. 

Faith loves getting to see the horses! 

There were a few peers she talked about quite a bit, and I could tell who some of her favorite staff were. I was thrilled about all of the socializing and activities in which she was able to participate. I also liked that I could be in constant contact with her room manager via text. She was always willing to listen to my concerns. 

Of course, there were some bumps along the way, which included favorite staff leaving, getting used to new staff, peers getting into her personal space, schedules to rearrange due to her therapy, and getting sick more often due to being in close contact with others. Even though she enjoyed it, there were times that Faith would get very anxious about going to her day program. A lot of times, this was due to staff changes or not getting to work with her favorite staff. 

Faith having fun at her day program!

Eventually I began to realize that she seemed super focused on staff and that she didn't seem to do a lot with her peers. It dawned on me that most of her peers were nonverbal, which is why she connected more with staff and always wanted their attention. 

I knew there was another room in which those who attended were more verbal and who were a little more independent. I began asking her room manager if it would be an option for her to switch rooms. But then, she came down with the flu and then RSV, so it was a while before she could try out the other room.

The room she would be switching to was called Creative Learning. There was a downstairs room and one upstairs. There were a few friends of hers in the downstairs room that she had known for a while, so I thought that was the better option. However, about a year later, the downstairs room joined the one upstairs in a brand-new space. This meant she would be with twice as many staff and peers. It was a big change for her that ended up causing a lot of anxiety. 

Faith on her 21st birthday sharing cupcakes in her Creative Learning room downstairs 

She did acclimate to the change, but there were still things that caused some anxiety. Again, it mostly revolved around staff changes and working with new staff. I understand why this would cause her to be anxious as she needs to trust staff 100 percent. If staff feels unsure about what they are doing, she senses it and gets stressed out.

Even though working through some of these challenges has been difficult, it has helped her to grow, and she has learned how to communicate her feelings a little better. For instance, this past week, she was working with her favorite staff and when that staff was helping another person in her group, Faith said something mean to that peer. When talking to Faith about it later, she realized that she had felt jealous because staff was paying attention to her peer and not her. 

Faith going out for breakfast at IHOP with her peers

Sometimes when she has big feelings about something that happened in her room, she will tell me that she wants to go back to Rec Leisure. I finally realized that she says this because she wants to go back to where things were a little bit easier and where she wasn’t as challenged. The atmosphere was quieter and a little more laid back. 

In Creative, there is a lot more activity and noise. At the same time, she has had so many wonderful opportunities in Creative and has such good friends in that room, which is what I try to remind her of when she says she wants to go back to her old room. 

Getting loaded up to go on a road trip! 

After four years, I can see the growth in her and how much she has matured. I am so happy about some of the things she has gotten to try, such as volunteering to clean up at the zoo, taking a road trip to Dickinson, going out to eat with her friends, and most recently being asked to Winter Formal. 

It's the best feeling that when I bring Faith into her room, her peers excitedly say, "Faith is here!" Some of them want her to come sit by them and others will come over to give her a hug. The funny thing is that her Auntie Dawn works there and she will sometimes stop in to see Faith. Her peers all know to cover their ears when Dawn enters the room because Faith will scream with excitement! 

Faith at a 6-month review meeting (and yes, there are cookies involved!)

I am grateful for all the staff who work with her and especially her room manager who has been so supportive and willing to help when Faith seems to be struggling. Along with them, Faith also has the best program coordinator, who even takes time to visit Faith in her room and do video chats with her. 

I am in awe that there are such wonderful human beings who are so willing to care for Faith and others with disabilities. It's a great feeling to know that when I drop Faith off, she is in the best hands and that they truly care about her. My favorite part though, is picking her up and hearing all about her day! 

Faith and Colin at her first formal dance