Well, she caught it. It was probably inevitable but still I hoped. Faith caught my cold. Kids get colds every day though, so why am I making such a big deal out of it? When Faith is sick, she doesn't sleep, which means mom doesn't sleep. Another thing about Faith - she doesn't nap either. She has never been a napper. Oh, how I envy my sister with her four-month-old who sleeps through family reunions and Cornhusker football games. (Live football games, that is.)
So last night, there we were. After sleeping for about an hour, Faith woke up crying. Was it her tummy? Her throat? Her ears? No answer, just more wailing and lots of tears. Finally, she calmed down and we slept for another hour before she was up crying again. This time she fell back asleep relatively quickly.
A couple of hours later though, she was up again. I asked her if I needed to vent her tummy. Sometimes, when she cries a lot or when she's swallowing extra saliva it gets into her tummy. I vented and it helped. Then I heard lots of toots. Hoping we had solved the problem, we fell back asleep, only to be up a few hours later. I took her into the living room and sat with her and she decided it was time to be awake. It was 4:00 a.m.
I put her on the floor and let her watch a video on her portable PlayStation. I laid down next to her and tried to sleep. Around 5:30 we finally went back to bed. I figured we would sleep until about 10, which meant we would miss church. I was surprised when she was ready to get up for the day at 8:00, runny nose and all. And even though she didn't feel well, and we were all exhausted, Faith still wanted to go to church.
Nights like these are really tough on someone who needs at least six hours of good sleep to function. Nights like these are usually agonizing and I find myself begging God for sleep. But last night, there was something different going on inside of me. Instead of the usual agony and frustration, I felt...joy? Yes, I felt joy. It's not that I was happy to be awake instead of sleeping, but the joy I felt was the joy of the Lord. I had heard about people feeling the joy of the Lord through tough circumstances, but I know I've never experienced it myself. Until last night.
This past weekend I went through some classes that taught what the Bible says about healing. Going through the classes helped me have a different perspective for what Faith and I were going through last night. Jesus has already bore our sickness when He died on the cross. He bore ALL of our sickness, including this cold that was causing my daughter to suffer.
When I was praying for her last night, I was able to pray with a thankful heart for what Jesus had done. Focusing on Jesus instead of my lack of sleep allowed me to be filled with hope and that God's grace would be sufficient for us to make it through the next sleep-deprived day and every sleep-deprived day after that. I am learning more and more that the joy of the Lord truly is my strength.
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