The other day Faith and I were standing in line at the pharmacy, and someone asked her, "How was your 4th of July?" She responded quite honestly, "Terrible!" Yes, it was definitely not a very fun 4th. In fact, this whole week has been one challenge after another. The only thing we really did for the 4th was go to Art in the Park in Mandan, which was last Friday. Faith found a new tie-dye t-shirt, and I enjoyed a yummy root beer float. Art in the Park in Mandan on the 3rd I had actually gone with the goal of getting an Indian taco, but it was so humid, I didn't feel like eating anything hot. Because it was so warm, we only stayed for an hour before heading back to Bismarck. That night, I noticed that Faith seemed uncomfortable in her chair, almost like she was having pain. She told me she needed to get out and lie down. I thought maybe being out in the high humidity had been too much for her or that she was having muscle spasms. After she lay down for a bit...
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Feeling Worn and Weary?
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Have you ever felt this way?
I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
My prayers are wearing thin
And I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I bet there are a lot of special needs parents or parents with very young children who can relate to these words. I know I can. Whenever I hear the song, Worn which contains the above lyrics, I am transported back in time when Faith was a little baby.
I was working full time during the day and trying to look after her at night. She did not sleep well, which meant neither Rob nor I sleep well either. To make things even harder, Rob worked overnights on the weekends.
I was in a major state of sleep deprivation. I started drinking caffeine and eating sugar every day at work to help me stay awake. It didn't help that my thyroid was out of whack. Eventually I was diagnosed with clinical depression and put on an antidepressant. It seemed that every day for years I was exhausted, I was completely worn.
Faith's post-NICU days were filled with sleepless nights that lasted throughout her early school years
I tried my hardest to pray during these difficult times but all I could think to pray for was sleep. Thankfully, our family had a lot of prayer support from friends and family. Through the years, Faith continued having trouble sleeping but it has gotten better. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. Currently, I am off my antidepressants and no longer even drink caffeine. God is good!
So, for all of you special needs moms or moms of young children who are struggling just to get through the day, I would like to offer you encouragement and hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for you as well. Just don't be afraid or ashamed to ask others to pray for you and keep trusting that He will bring you through this difficult time.
Some Scriptures for the worn and weary:
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar
on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk
and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31
By the way, this song was written by the lead singer of Tenth Avenue North, Mike Donehey. He and his wife had two young girls and one night as they lay down in bed, his wife reached over and told him how worn out she was feeling. He knew he needed to write a song called "Worn."
Last Wednesday I had my yearly doctor exam and when she said I should get my tetanus shot updated, I didn't think twice about it. The nurse said my arm would be sore for a couple of days, gave me a handout and stuck the needle in my arm. The next day my arm was sore and although I found it a little harder to pick up and carry Faith, I was glad the pain wasn't going to last long. Boy was I wrong! But not only was my arm sore, my whole body was. I felt achy and extremely tired. According to a medical site on the Internet, these were mild side effects of the Tetanus shot. If these were only mild side effects, I would really hate to have them at a moderate or severe level. My arm is still red and sore on day 2 after my tetanus shot. On Friday, two days after getting the shot I felt so tired that I took a four-hour nap after getting Faith off to school. Then on Saturday I took a three-hour nap up until 7 o'clock, but still felt tired and was able to go back to sleep around 10. ...
The other day Faith and I were standing in line at the pharmacy, and someone asked her, "How was your 4th of July?" She responded quite honestly, "Terrible!" Yes, it was definitely not a very fun 4th. In fact, this whole week has been one challenge after another. The only thing we really did for the 4th was go to Art in the Park in Mandan, which was last Friday. Faith found a new tie-dye t-shirt, and I enjoyed a yummy root beer float. Art in the Park in Mandan on the 3rd I had actually gone with the goal of getting an Indian taco, but it was so humid, I didn't feel like eating anything hot. Because it was so warm, we only stayed for an hour before heading back to Bismarck. That night, I noticed that Faith seemed uncomfortable in her chair, almost like she was having pain. She told me she needed to get out and lie down. I thought maybe being out in the high humidity had been too much for her or that she was having muscle spasms. After she lay down for a bit...
I must say, after the long weekend, I am feeling a bit guilty. We didn't have too much going on, so we mainly stayed indoors, and I let Faith watch way too many videos. When Sunday finally rolled around, she was bored and a bit cranky. Before having kids, I always told myself I would not be one of those moms who lets the TV babysit their kids. Things sure turn out differently when you actually have kids! When Faith comes home from school, that is all she feels like doing. She is so tired from her long day, which not only includes classroom time but also working hard with her special education teacher, driving her power chair and any other therapies she might have for the day. By the time she gets home, she is spent. I don' feel as guilty letting her watch so many videos after school but over the Thanksgiving long weekend, I am going to try hard to limit her video-watching time and find other things for us to do. I don't mind Faith playing on her iPad but it's too eas...
If I were to ask people who know Faith what one of her favorite activities is, I am pretty sure they would all say the same thing: socializing. Faith absolutely loves people. She has been a social butterfly ever since she was little. She has always enjoyed going to therapy because she loves meeting new people, even those in the waiting room. Doctor appointments are also great because she gets to meet new nurses. She pretty much makes friends wherever she goes! Faith and friends blowing out birthday candles when she turned 7 During her first years in school, she easily made friends with her classmates. Sadly, though, as the kids got older and since she was limited in her mobility, these friendships faded. When we pulled her out of school altogether in order to homeschool her, the hardest part was not having any friends. Thankfully, we lived in a building that had a community room. Faith and I would often hang out there for a change of scenery. She would sit and wa...
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That is a great song. Thank you for sharing this:)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouragement Cari. I am especially weary this week, so it was quite timely! Bless you!
ReplyDeleteYour welcome, ladies. Blessings to you and your families - I'll be praying for each of you this week.
ReplyDelete