Faith began planning her 23rd birthday party about 3 months ago! Everyone sort of laughed at that time and tried to tell her she had a ways to go before her birthday. Now, just like that, it's over! Faith's cake and some of the decorations She really enjoyed the surprise birthday party we threw for a friend of ours last year at Pizza Ranch, so she decided that's where she wanted her party. When I asked her what she wanted for a theme, she totally surprised me by saying, "Bon Jovi!" (We listen to a lot of Bon Jovi in the van!) I was all onboard with her Pizza Ranch plan, because that would make things pretty easy for me. I wouldn't have to worry about feeding everyone. The only drawback was that we could only get a room that accommodated about 25 people, so this year, we weren't able to invite the whole church and many others. (Faith has a lot of friends!) The birthday girl! On the other hand, it worked well to have somewhat of a smaller party as she h...
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Feeling Worn and Weary?
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Have you ever felt this way?
I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
My prayers are wearing thin
And I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I bet there are a lot of special needs parents or parents with very young children who can relate to these words. I know I can. Whenever I hear the song, Worn which contains the above lyrics, I am transported back in time when Faith was a little baby.
I was working full time during the day and trying to look after her at night. She did not sleep well, which meant neither Rob nor I sleep well either. To make things even harder, Rob worked overnights on the weekends.
I was in a major state of sleep deprivation. I started drinking caffeine and eating sugar every day at work to help me stay awake. It didn't help that my thyroid was out of whack. Eventually I was diagnosed with clinical depression and put on an antidepressant. It seemed that every day for years I was exhausted, I was completely worn.
Faith's post-NICU days were filled with sleepless nights that lasted throughout her early school years
I tried my hardest to pray during these difficult times but all I could think to pray for was sleep. Thankfully, our family had a lot of prayer support from friends and family. Through the years, Faith continued having trouble sleeping but it has gotten better. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. Currently, I am off my antidepressants and no longer even drink caffeine. God is good!
So, for all of you special needs moms or moms of young children who are struggling just to get through the day, I would like to offer you encouragement and hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for you as well. Just don't be afraid or ashamed to ask others to pray for you and keep trusting that He will bring you through this difficult time.
Some Scriptures for the worn and weary:
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar
on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk
and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31
By the way, this song was written by the lead singer of Tenth Avenue North, Mike Donehey. He and his wife had two young girls and one night as they lay down in bed, his wife reached over and told him how worn out she was feeling. He knew he needed to write a song called "Worn."
This gift given to me Seven years ago... Not given swaddled in pink and laid close by my side. Instead placed in a see-through box helping to breathe breaths of life. A single touch lasting only seconds not to be seen for several hours. Seven days later, finally in my arms to hold. This gift given to me so undeservedly... Did God really know what He was doing Giving me this treasure for which to care? Thankful. Blessed. These words do not even begin to express what I feel, what I know, what I have. Tough times, yes Challenges, of course. But still joy And love...so much love. Seven years ago This gift, given to me... My heart, my soul forever changed. Happy Birthday, Faith! You are loved!
Faith began planning her 23rd birthday party about 3 months ago! Everyone sort of laughed at that time and tried to tell her she had a ways to go before her birthday. Now, just like that, it's over! Faith's cake and some of the decorations She really enjoyed the surprise birthday party we threw for a friend of ours last year at Pizza Ranch, so she decided that's where she wanted her party. When I asked her what she wanted for a theme, she totally surprised me by saying, "Bon Jovi!" (We listen to a lot of Bon Jovi in the van!) I was all onboard with her Pizza Ranch plan, because that would make things pretty easy for me. I wouldn't have to worry about feeding everyone. The only drawback was that we could only get a room that accommodated about 25 people, so this year, we weren't able to invite the whole church and many others. (Faith has a lot of friends!) The birthday girl! On the other hand, it worked well to have somewhat of a smaller party as she h...
As mentioned in my previous post Faith had to go back to the ER about 6 days following her first stay in the hospital. The reason I took her back was to determine whether or not she was still battling a UTI or if there was something else causing her ongoing fatigue. Thankfully, the ER waiting room was pretty empty, which meant we could go back pretty quickly. After putting in an IV, they drew some labs and also did a chest x-ray and electrocardiogram (ECG) as her heart rate we really high. An empty waiting room at the ER! More Tests They were also going to have to draw another urine sample with a catheter, which was causing Faith to be super anxious. This time, they gave her something to help decrease her anxiety, which made getting the sample much easier. After a while, the x-ray showed a possible pleural effusion. The doctor recommended a CT scan to get a better look. Faith was becoming very anxious again and wanted to sit up in bed, so I ...
Normally, Faith is the one with all of the appointments but this week it has been my turn. On Monday I had my annual echocardiogram. On Tuesday I had my pacemaker device check and appointment with the cardiologist who comes to Bismarck from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. The doctors who come are pediatric cardiologists who also specialize in adults with congenital heart defects (CHD). This saves anyone in the area who has a CHD from having to travel to Rochester each year. It is very convenient! (I do travel to Rochester to get my pacemaker changed, though!) The Bible verse that has kept me going all these years! When I saw the doctor, we mainly discussed two things: my Fontan and my pacemaker. But first, a little background. I was born with double outlet right ventricle (DORV). Basically, this means both my aorta and pulmonary artery stem from my right ventricle. Because of this, my left ventricle does not really do anything, which is why this CHD is referred to as a sin...
That is a great song. Thank you for sharing this:)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouragement Cari. I am especially weary this week, so it was quite timely! Bless you!
ReplyDeleteYour welcome, ladies. Blessings to you and your families - I'll be praying for each of you this week.
ReplyDelete